Sometimes I don’t feel like a real person. Everyone else is living their lives but I am just a specter. I look human but I’m not one of them. People go out with friends, they have fun, they get jobs they like or at least move their careers forward. They fall in love and get married or go overseas and have adventures. They have children and go to recitals and soccer games and basically have day to day lives.
My days blur together with no change on the horizon. I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to be someone to.
Dark places are bad. I know that. This seems worse right now, this is a gray place. This is a place of nothingness where nothing happens and nothing changes. Sometimes I’m happy. Sometimes I joke with people and I smile and I feel good but at the end of the day I am empty.
Something isn’t missing in my life; everything is missing from my life. I don’t even feel like I have a real life; I’m just like a rock. I’m just here. I exist, that’s all
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