Then tonight, I'm at my friends' house playing board games and they start talking politics. It's late, and they have moved seamlessly from one topic to this one and there was no chance to excuse myself.
Three Republicans in a room with me, the only little Democrat, trying as hard as I can to defend our president and other various 'liberal' atrocities. Even though, I'm interested in full discussions of things and examinations of issues and I don't necessarily have views that run exactly down the party lines, it feels to me like everyone is staring at me in anger. They get that angry tone everyone gets when discussing heated topics and it all seems directed at me. They move from one topic to the next, before I've even begun to analyze and ask questions about the first topic. It's not a tennis match - it's a battlefield with cannonballs whizzing past my head.
I DON'T KNOW!!! I DON'T EVEN WATCH THE NEWS BECAUSE IT UPSETS ME!! WHY DO YOU PEOPLE WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF AND BE UPSET ALL THE TIME!!!
It just makes me feel like I can't socialize like normal people do, because I can't handle this - very normal thing. People discuss politics. Mostly they don't go home and cry afterwards because they feel like their friends were angry at them.
I don't know how to not take it personally. If someone is looking at me angrily and using an angry tone, it's upsetting!!! And, when I get tripped up and have no idea what anyone is talking about because I avoid all this stupid news crap because when I read it, it puts me in a negative frame of mind which can continue all day and is frankly quite dangerous for me.
I had another game day scheduled with a different group of people, people whom I have never met before on Sunday but I'm not sure if I'm going to be up for going. It was going to be stressful anyway because of the newness, but if I'm already hurt and not feeling great emotionally, it's going to be very difficult to socialize at the level of the 'normals.' I may end up being withdrawn and shy and it's an RPG and that is very bad for RPG's.
I will wait until tomorrow and see how I feel before cancelling. In the meantime, I really wish I had some chocolate.
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I used to feel the same about the news. It used to annoy me, frustrate me, anger me, at the stupidity, atrocities and injustice, wars, famines, but mostly stupidity and mostly stupidity of politicians. I have no political views, I listen to both sides and think both make a good point until I find whatever one says completely absurd and void of any common sense or reason, then it makes me angry. But it doesn't affect me anymore, now I detach myself from these. Don't really have a tip for you, but you're right to defend your opinions.
ReplyDeleteWhat's an RPG? From my youth, it means Role Playing Game, but I don't think it's what you meant :)
Thanks, La Cremiere. I hope I can get to a point where it doesn't affect me anymore as well.
DeleteI do mean Role Playing Game; like dungeons and dragons, or Fate.